UOG: Demise

Chuck Pagano looks like an overly serious high school Driver’s Ed Instructor, who repeatedly barks to the students, “10 and 2 is what we do!”

Jay Glazer looks like he’s being squeezed from the bottom up and is ready to pop.

Lane Kiffin looks like the coworker who doesn’t look away while you type in your password during a conversation at your desk.

Doug Pederson looks like Myrtle Beach.

Tom Brady looks like a single white mother walking out of the courthouse after winning custody of her kids.

Tony Kornheiser looks like an embattled old fisherman who tells fables about his historic catches of the past but is now relegated to trying to catch fish in the pond at the park even though it is common knowledge that there are no fish in that pond.

Mike Leach looks like a cartoon cow.

Hue Jackson looks like the timid preacher who reluctantly resorts to murder and brutality in a zombie apocalypse movie.

Mike Budenholzer looks like a butcher in a human slaughter house in an Eastern European country.

Marvin Lewis looks like the Chuck E. Cheese’s manager apologizing profusely for why the pizzas are taking so long.

Brett Gardner looks like the guy on the swat team who clears the first room.

Jeff VanGundy looks like your uncle’s ghost.

Sam Darnold looks like he was conceived in a frat house during rush week.

Travis Kelce looks like a back-up dancer at an Usher concert.

Tom Thibedeau looks like he sweats while taking a shower.